Projection, Transference, and the Egg

One of the great things about writing a blog like this is you get to be your own boss and you get to write about yourself.  You also get to entertain people and hopefully teach them.  Plus, you get to be creative and if something doesn’t work, oh well, no harm done.

Now, if you’ve read this blog for a while, you are well aware that my entries differ quite a bit.  Today’s entry is going to be more of the category of education than spirituality.  I’ve recently learned a few things and am connecting a few things I’ve already known, but I’m not sure where it’s all headed.  So I am going to dive in and see what happens.

Most of you, by now, probably know that my sun sign is Gemini.  That explains the knowing a little about a lot and the variety to my writing.  Blog entries are just the right length to keep me interested – cause boredom is an issue for us Gemini folk.

What I don’t think I’ve mentioned before is my numerology.  My date of birth is 5-26-1968, which makes me a 37/10/1.  (Adding up all of the digits results in 37, which reduces to 10, which reduces to 1.)

Using my own numerology, I would interpret a 37 as one who likes to create (3) transformation (7), maybe by creating deep understanding or maybe by creating transformational tools.  Transformation is nothing more than change (5) with significant purpose or direction (2) added in.  Fives force us to make adjustments to solve (6) issues, but sevens are more of the back-to-the-drawing-board variety.

From what I am told, a zero in there somewhere (as in 10) is an indicator of intuitive gifts.  Cool!

And then there is 1.  As a 1, my “come from” vibration is observation of self.  I learn about life, people, spirituality by observing and learning about myself.  By being a Gemini, I chose to come in with a variety of little challenges (and maybe a couple big ones), so that I can learn in a lot of areas.  So the 1 facilitates the 37.

Anyway – just some background on what I’m doing and why I’m here, I guess.

Next up is something that popped into my head in the middle of the night after being woken by my cat pounding on my glass door from the outside.  She woke me with a start, and then my mind started rolling into stuff.

And the stuff it rolled into was the difference between projection and transference.  This is what I got:

Let’s say that you’ve had a number of experiences as a doormat.  You’ve been walked on too many times and it’s frustrating.  It is something you desire to “fix” in your life.

Projection is when you look at another and see them as a doormat when they aren’t.  Maybe they’re just being nice.  Maybe they are being well within their power and even if it looks like they are being taken advantage of, they don’t see it that way.  You’re upset because you think they are being weak and this reminds you of when you feel weak.

Now transference is a little different.  In this case, you see the other person as being a foot.  You see them walking all over you or someone else, and this upsets you because it is, again, a reminder of your times being the doormat.

It can work the other way too.  If you are a foot, you can see feet or doormats, projections or transference.  So if you see feet, and that upsets you, you still need to discern what that means for you.

Okay, next point.  In the last blog, I talked about the 10 of Swords, the disillusionment en route to enlightenment.  There are pieces I left out cause it was getting too long.

The first one is this.  When I first got the information from spirit, they reminded me of numerology.  Eleven is a master number.  It contains the meaning of 2 plus a higher vibration.  One of the meanings of 2 is direction, as in two points forming a line. There is where you are and where you want to go, and thus the path in between. Eleven is when the entire process is illuminated. You understand where you are, you understand where you want to be, and you now see how to get there, where the growth is, what needs to change and so on.

So the 10 of Swords (disillusionment) as a 10 precedes the 11 of illumination.  Next up would be 12/3, which I see as the journey.  The combination of 1 and 2 within 12 is when an individual (1) follows the direction (2) given.  And this adds up to 3 because it creates (3) a new expression of self.

For curiosity’s sake, my sister and I had a deep discussion some months back about the shift from 12 to 13.  This realm contains 12 all over the place.

We use 12 for time:
12 hours of day and 12 hours of night (at the equinoxes) reflected in our clock time
12 months of the year
12 signs of the zodiac
60 minutes to an hour – 60 seconds to a minute (60 is a multiple of 12)

We use 12 for area:
360 degrees in a circle (12 segments of 30 degrees each)

And we use 12 for short distance measurement
12 inches in a foot, 3 feet in a yard (3 is a factor of 12, but not of 10).

I’ve read that if we used base 12 instead of base 10 for all of our math, many things would work out better.  12 is easier to divide up than 10 is.  For example, you can divide 12 by 2, 3, 4 and 6 evenly.  And in base 12 you don’t end up with all of those repeating decimals like 0.333333….. for 1/3 (a common dividing).

Anyway, 12 is a perfect number for this realm that we’re in because it is so regular and useful.  However, 13 is in some ways the first imperfect number.  It looks weird, it feels weird and people are afraid of it.  I see 13 as describing the unexplainable realm outside of this one. It is like the psychedelic trip when taking acid.  It is the bizarreness of the dream state.  It is that reality where nothing is logical, yet it all makes sense anyway, except when you try to understand it from this “normal” (base-12) state of consciousness.

Okay, one last point.

In the past, I’ve written about the rising sign as the shield and the mask.  In fact, I think of a human as being like an egg.  The shell is the rising sign. It is what is seen from the outside and it is the protector of what is inside.  The shell makes the egg look solid all the way through.  In fact, you can’t see the difference between a raw egg and a hard boiled one.

So, thanks to our rising sign, we get to put up a façade.  We get to hide some of what is going on inside, for better or for worse.

The white of the egg is the sun sign.  It is our personality.  Once we let someone past our guard, we show them what we are like and how we express ourselves.  Much of our human interaction, like at work, is based on our sun sign.

And then there is the yoke.  The yoke is our moon sign, it is where our desires lie, it is what makes us tick, what motivates us, and what we show through intimacy.

So to me, the joy of getting to know someone in relationship is moving through the layers to the core.  The disillusionment/illumination process is what happens when a boundary is crossed.  It can happen when we move past the shell to the white and it can happen when we move past the white to the yoke.

And now, pulling it all together.

The interesting thing is the shell is not only what is seen from the outside, it is also what is looked through from the inside.  Someone I read a while back referred to the rising sign as the filter one sees the world through.  I think the shell around us is a two-way mirror – or maybe a four-way mirror (if there is such a thing).  From the inside, we see our reflection and we see what is beyond our boundary.  And from the outside, people can see their reflection or they can see what is inside of us.

So the challenge is to see past the reflection.  To recognize the projection/transference.  The projection/transference is useful, it is a great teacher, but only if it is recognized as reflection.  If we confuse the reflection with the outside scene, we will not learn.  Better stated, until we move past the confusion of the two images, we will not learn; we’ll just be gathering information en route to learning and understanding.

So, in every case, when there is something we desire that we believe we don’t have (or can’t have), we are not accurately seeing beyond our own shell.  We see only limitations.  We are looking at fears.  Through awareness, we learn to separate out reflection from reality.  We see what we are creating, that we are creating and how we are creating.  And from this, we can change our thinking, our beliefs, our attitude, our vibration, and thus shift our creating.  The change (transformation) will happen automatically once the understanding sets in.

It is as if our vibration changes the nature of the shell.  It shifts it from being more of a mirror to being more of a window to being nothing but an illusion.

Boy, that’s a lot to chew on.

And now you know how I’m keeping myself occupied these days.  I’m looking at my projections, my transferences, my fears, how I’m creating from fear, when I’m not.  I am observing it all and mostly staying in the center of the wheel.  And I’m not really looking for solutions just yet, mostly just observing and seeing what comes of it all.