Morning everyone! (Pretend it’s morning if you’re reading this at a different time of the day.) How is every feeling today? Does anyone feel a little lighter? Maybe just a touch different than the days before?
As you know, I like to experiment. I like to tune in to various aspects and then see how they feel. Yesterday’s Occultation of Venus had an interesting effect and I wanted to share.
First, there was no way I was going to be able to see it here in Texas. The August sky was flooded with scattered sunlight making the color a very pale blue. On top of that, there were a bunch of clouds. After a few attempts, I could not find the Moon and Venus. If I was back in San Diego with its cooler, drier air and darker, clear sky, I’m sure I would have seen it. Oh well, better luck next time.
Noon UPDATE: Check out this blog post, which contains images of the very beginning of the Occultation:
What I did instead was – sort of – meditate. For those who attended last week’s Tune-up Tuesday, you know what I mean. (BTW – if you’re coming tonight, shoot me an email so I can get a head count.)
In any event, I was very aware of how my emotional body felt. I sort of expected to feel clear emotion, but instead felt a bit of fear and anxiety. As an energetic empath, this fear/anxiety is sort of a catchall sensation. I often feel this before readings or energy work sessions. It’s when I start tapping into someone’s pain (and, of course, some of my own).
So for the full hour of the occultation, I felt this heavy-in-the-chest feeling despite running energy, meditating, and relaxing. I even gave myself a pep talk about how, in that moment, there really was nothing to fear and nothing to feel bad about.
Alas, the best part came right as Venus revealed herself from behind the Moon. Since I couldn’t see it in person, I watched using an iPad app that I have. I could zoom in and knew the exact moment when Venus would show again.
And at that moment, it was as if I heard the word, “Clear!” yelled out to the those around me. A gentle wave of energy washed over me and the heaviness in my heart dissipated. I literally felt like my heart was reset or rebooted. Energy flowed in my veins like blood pumping through after sitting idle for a few minutes. And that’s when I got it.
The occultation of Venus was a reset. The anxiety I felt was from a lack of energy that induced a bit of fear. It’s like when the lights go out and we have that moment wondering if they’ll ever come back on. Once they do, we sigh with relief knowing our food in the fridge won’t go bad and we won’t have to endure a night without A/C. (I am in TX remember where it is over 100 every day now!)
With the blood pumping once again, a feeling of optimism flowed with it. This is a new beginning. My heart was tuned up a tad, opened up a tad, and is now beating just a bit better than before. Talk about priming the pump!
The fear isn’t all gone. Whatever the source, it is lingering in the air and I can feel it. It’s not easy to love again. Loving the first time is a cake-walk. We’re young. We’re hormonal. We find that someone that we want with every cell of our body. When it hurts, it really hurts, but we don’t have any memory or anticipation of it. But now? After many failures in love? Now we’ve accumulated some fear. We’ve toughened up. We react before something happens.
And now we’re training ourselves out of all of those protections we learned.
I’ve been a safe boy for a long time and have decided that it’s not a whole lot of fun. It’s time to be brave, to take off the armor, and to start feeling life heart first. No, I probably won’t jump right into the deep end, but I have entered the water and am headed that way.
Know that if you’re a little scared, have a bit of trepidation, are looking for a deeper experience but not sure how to call it in, you are not alone. We each have a unique journey, but we’re all walking right next to each other. These suits of armor have been obstructing our peripheral vision, so we couldn’t see each other, but once you take off that helmet, you’re going to see the rest of us trudging along just like you.
And, by the way, I did make it out early again today to see the trio again. Yesterday, I saw one meteor; today I saw three! It’s kind of hard to not feel optimistic after that, eh?