Off the Record

I think my subconscious has a funnier sense of humor than I do. This silly caricature was inspired by last night’s dream.

Imagine that life was lived on a record…you know, an old lp. This is what it might be like:

Pisces enjoys living life on the edge. It is only natural that they would occasionally fall off of it. Good thing they are excellent swimmers.

Aquarius, by contrast, drifts about two inches beyond the edge…’cept only they don’t know that.

If it were up to Capricorn, a wall would be built along the edge, keeping everyone on the record. Besides, they don’t believe there’s anything off the record anyway.

We’re sorry to say that Aries has to be kept on a leash at all times, otherwise they would surely run right off of the edge…like in the first two minutes!

Taurus doesn’t know (or doesn’t care) what’s beyond the edge. It is simply too far to get there…and there probably isn’t any good stuff out there anyway.

Gemini, on the other hand, knows everything about the edge and beyond it…but only theoretically.

Leo prefers to live directly at the center…and about six inches up…where everyone can see them.

Thanks to Cancer, the record is not just a house, but a home. Go ahead and ask them; they’ll tell you…twice!

Virgo etched the grooves on the record. No one else could have made them perfectly concentric. Most of the others don’t even know what concentric means.

Scorpio is the only other sign that knows how deep the grooves go. At all times, at least some part of them is below what the rest can see.

Sagittarius knows that you can follow the grooves to get places, but no Sadge has ever been seen moving along them. Please! How boring is that!

Libra’s self-appointed job is to make sure that everyone is evenly (and fairly) distributed on the record. They don’t want anyone to fall off or be excluded…and they don’t want the record to tilt.

I hope this made you chuckle at least once!

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