For the past few days, I’ve been sitting with Thursday’s channeling (Standing Waves), which I posted on Friday. This whole time, spirit has been guiding me toward a deeper understanding.
I am acutely aware that the conversation started right when I noticed the motorboat. I had been admiring the unusual glassiness of the water and I knew the motorboat would ruin it.
However, I had to admit that the initial waves emanating from the boat were beautiful. They remained glassy as they gracefully expanded toward me. It caught the entirety of my attention and I was rapt.
As many of you know or have guessed, I have been hiding out. If you’ve known me long enough, you have surely noticed the change. On a conscious level, I have been (attempting) to insulate myself from those vibrations that cause me pain. My ever-growing sensitivity is to blame. [More accurately stated: I have been blaming my heightened sensitivity.]
Allow me to share some in depth examples. [If you prefer, skip down to Part II for the insights gained.] This is not an attempt to justify my behavior; it is simply to give you an understanding of what it is like for me, in case some of you are experiencing the same.
I “see” energy now. One way that works really well is when I look back on an experience. In my mind’s eye, I can see emotional waves, but only when they are particularly strong. [If they are strong enough, and I am in tune, I can see them while they are happening.]
I not only see energy travel out of a person, I also see how others react when those waves break against them. The motorboat on the lake, you see, thus serves as a perfect analogy.
When you watch a motorboat slice through glassy water, you can see the at-first pure waves leave the boat’s hull and expand outward. Turtles swimming in the lake rise and fall with the crests, as they offer no resistance to it. The boardwalk pillars, however, reflect the waves back. Eventually, the whole lake churns in chaos.
[As I am editing this article, I now see these two profound examples of how we act or react to other’s emanations. When we do not resist or respond, we are like the swimming turtles. When we resist and reflect, we send our own waves out, which interact and interfere, ultimately creating chaos.]
I will now share a specific and detailed example from a couple of years ago.
I am in a room observing a parent “discipline” his child. On the surface, this is not an uncommon event. However, now consider that I can see more deeply what emanates from this specific parent. I not only see it hit the son it is directed toward, but I also see it break against all other persons in the room.
[In this particular case, I didn’t see it while it happened. I had more to learn first.]
As a healer, I sometimes work on people. When I do, I sometimes find knots of energy stuck inside of them. Earlier, I had worked on the boy and had found a knot of energy. I worked the knot until it loosened. I found myself saying, “This is going to hurt.” When the knot finally left the boy, sobs flowed out with it. Both he and I knew the knot originated from his father, but there was so much more to learn.
For a few months after the experience, I am especially sad, depressed, and discontent. I feel this way about all areas of my life. I cannot even tell you why. Maybe I can dig up reasons, but I can’t tell you why it’s worse one day than the week before.
I search and seek. Weeks later, I find the answers.
Through a dream, I discover that that same viscous energy is inside of me. I look back and in my mind’s eye, and I see that parent’s emanated energy flow into me. I see it in first person, and what I remember most profoundly is the look in his eyes. It is like looking at the headlights of an oncoming train or directly into a laser.
Like the lake, my glassy surface was ripped by that wave, but unlike the lake, I did not allow myself to return to my more natural frequency…at least not in a timely fashion. I was not like the turtle, but not like the boardwalk pillar either. I didn’t roll with the wave, and I didn’t react or respond. I absorbed the waves and held onto them. [This is something I have done my whole life.]
The above experience is merely one of many. So I start isolating myself. Too many people are emitting waves that hurt me, that stay with me, that haunt me. As part of my (attempted) protection, I stay home more; I unfollow people on Facebook; I skim the news faster and faster to shun traumatic images and words before they cut me.
I even start to avoid so-called spiritual people because I have learned, first hand, that when some learn energy work, they also learn how to forcefully penetrate others with energy. If you stick a part of your body into my body without my permission, it is called rape. But what if you do that with your energy? The laws of our land don’t cover that case. Most can’t even witness such an event, but it happened to me, and thankfully someone who could perceive it was present and validated my experience.
This recently channeled message has helped me gain a greater understanding. I now see how my isolation has been feeble. First, I have failed to shield myself from painful outside frequencies. Second, and more importantly, I have failed to shield myself from those painful frequencies (thoughts and worries) that I myself create.
I have been focusing on the outside stuff, ignoring the inside stuff.
I have already stopped trying to change the world (for the most part), but I have still been trying to control the space around me—all the while failing miserably.
The channeling spoke of emotional endurance. I have since realized that a better set of words is emotional tenacity.
It makes sense I would hear and say emotional endurance because that’s what it has felt like. I’ve been enduring the onslaught. When you endure something, you tolerate it; you put up with it. But when you have tenacity, you hold your own against it. Tenacity holds more power than endurance.
Mental tenacity is called focus. Meditation is another form of mental tenacity, and a way to practice it.
Emotional tenacity requires mental tenacity. Scratch that. Spirit just explained (this instant) that that statement is false. One can use mental tenacity to attain emotional tenacity, but that is not the only way.
Elasticity is another way. You can let the (negative) thoughts in, but then bounce back.
Visualize the turtles swimming on the lake. They did not resist the waves; they simply rose and fell with each crest. In other words, they rode out the waves!
AHHHHHH. That’s it! That’s the message I’ve been reaching for!
The lake bounces back; it returns to its glassy state after the boat races by. Not immediately, but in time. In fact, it happened rather quickly.
Another message I often get from spirit is to slow down. I now understand why.
To recap, the messages are:
1 – Tend to your own waves more. In fact, you need only tend to your own waves (thoughts and emotions) to feel better.
2 – Rather than trying to shun vibration, offer less resistance to it. Move from emotional endurance, to emotional tenacity, to emotional elasticity.
3 – By slowing down, you give yourself more time to recover from perturbations.
When a turtle exhibits emotional endurance, it pulls itself into its shell. It is safer, but not happier. When the turtle exhibits emotional elasticity, it rides the waves.
I have been like the turtle hauled up in my shell of protection. I now understand that I don’t have to give up my shell to swim in the lake and have fun. I just need to go with the flow and let the waves wash over me.