Valentine’s afternoon here in Austin was beautiful. The temperature was in that ideal range—mid to high 70s. Many on the boardwalk were walking for enjoyment rather than exercise. They were meandering, some holding hands, some simply enjoying the companionship of a friend or family member or their pet. It was an easy day to be in alignment with wellbeing.
At one moment, I gazed upon a heart-shaped leaf and the following popped into my mind:
“It matters not what inspires you toward love. Appreciate the inspiration and the love, for from appreciation, inspiration, and love flow the fulfillment of all desires.”
Most of what I desire these days are not things, but rather feelings…and experiences to help induce those feelings. What experiences? I’m not sure.
At times, it is hard for me to imagine—fantasize about—specific experiences desired. When I start down that road, I too easily can imagine a variation of the experience that does not produce the desired feeling, partly because I can remember how it was the last time. Specific experiences carry too much remembering…the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Instead, I’m trying to stay focused on the feelings…only those aspects I desire. That means I need to keep it general. And that’s fine because my desires are pretty general.
What I do keep remembering (about my San Diego years for example) is the momentum I had developed. Life just happened on its own. Momentum is definitely something I want back.
The other day, when I was vacuuming, I was at one point trying to push my office chair out of the way to vacuum around it. For whatever reason, I couldn’t get the chair to move the way I wanted it to. I wanted to move it sideways, but it only wanted to go forward. My office chair, like most others, has five legs and those wheels that both roll and turn. It sits on a rug, which offers some resistance, but was being more stubborn than usual.
And then a profound insight popped in.
When wheels of this sort are oriented in one direction, it is easy to push the chair further in that direction…even on a rug. But to push the chair in a new and different direction is difficult because the wheels are essentially sideways. This is another analogy of momentum.
Find an office chair and play with it some if you don’t understand what I am saying.
The point is this: it is easy to move along the same direction you have been going. Your wheels—your momentum—are pointing that way. The more challenging action is changing the momentum, especially if the direction is a significant shift.
For the past eight months, I have been consciously attempting to shift the direction of my travel. At times it is difficult. I can get so frustrated that I nearly give up on it.
The first challenge is that I am not seeking tangible goals. I don’t have specific items that I wish to own. I don’t have specific locations (other than where I current reside) that I wish to live. I don’t even have a vague idea of what I want to do.
What I do know is that I want to feel: happy, successful, useful, worthy, in the flow, accomplished, proud, pain free, relaxed, with plenty of fun creative things to do, and without the feeling that “there’s never enough time”.
The other day, I told someone that I was “searching for my 3rd career.”
Some time later, I heard my guides correct me. “You’re actually looking for your 4th career. You’ve already had three.” I was reminded that first I was a Software Engineer and second I was a Software Architect. I was also reminded of the years that sat between the one and the other.
My career as a Software Engineer went well, but my greatest success was as a Software Architect…and the transition took years. It resembled where I am now. In other words, for a while, I felt…nowhere. I felt…in between. I didn’t know where I was going. I didn’t have clear goals. I goofed off a lot.
My third career had lots of pieces and parts…fits and starts. I learned how to do a lot of metaphysical things, yet I never felt “successful” in any of them…not by certain measures anyway.
My second career was a direct outgrown of the first. The field was the same…as was the company, but it was different.
So…maybe…my fourth career will be when I take the experiences of my third and move them to a new level. Maybe, I am learning to do it differently. Maybe I am (for the first time?) actually putting all of those spiritual idea(l)s into practice.
For example, almost exactly four years ago, I channeled a message (from my higher self?) in a post called Perfect Reflection, which contained this piece:
We say unto you this: Feel free to ask from any cup what you wish. If you seek to be loved in a particular way by a particular one, ask, but know that it is their prerogative to say no.
For a more efficient method of manifestation, ask only me! Make all of your requests unto me knowing that my answer is always yes. But to receive the gifts that I offer in return, you must look for the cup that I deliver to you. It might not be where you’re looking. In fact, when the Four of Cups appears, that’s exactly the message.
I think of that often. And I have put it into practice. I still sometimes ask specific others specific requests, but I really ask my higher self and then move toward the understanding that the request will be answered…not a question of if, merely a question of when.
And also not a question of how.
My newest work is to stop looking for the understanding of how. It is such a habit to think that I need to figure it out myself. I don’t. I don’t have to decide what I want to do. I, instead, need to allow the aspects I desire to coalesce into something I will feel when I find it.
I need to stop asking: “How am I going to solve this problem?” and instead understand that I made the request already. I stated it enough times. I now need to stop asking, accept that the answer is out there, and allow myself to be guided to it.
An Abraham technique that has been very helpful of late is this: When you encounter something you (really) don’t like, which you can easily notice by the (strong) feeling of frustration (or anger), immediately turn toward and begin to focus on what you do want.
- Blah, blah, blah doesn’t work, which has been a huge pain in the ass.
- OK, so the request has been made (to my higher self)…and his answer is always yes…therefore the problem has been solved.
- All I need to do to find that solution is focus on what I DO want.
- Well, I want blah, blah, blah to work properly. Why? Because I want the convenience it provides. I want ease and elegance and function….
I wrote a book about a journey, which then led to another book…about another journey. You would think that by now I would understand that life is a journey—it is a process, not a destination.
I’m getting there (pun intended)—ha ha.