Tough Love

Today is 1/1/2012, the first day of a year that is said to change life as we know it. But then again, most of us hope that January first of any year is the beginning of something new and wonderful.

As I look back on 2011, a rather difficult year by any measure, I am most aware of how it ended. The universe contains perfection, and at times, the most perfect way for us to get something we’ve overlooked all of our lives, is a stiff bout of tough love.

In the archetypal sky, the planets of tough love are Saturn and Pluto. Saturn is that often-unpleasant reminder that we are responsible for ourselves. As we look into the past, we can see all of the decisions we’ve made. We can’t control how others treat us. We can’t necessarily choose what happens to us. But we can and do always choose how to react. What we do in light of what life brings us is solely our responsibility.

Is it our right to shun those people who abuse us? Absolutely.

Is it appropriate to feel angry when someone violates us? Most certainly.

Is it acceptable to feel hurt when someone betrays us? Yes, that and more.

What we feel in light of whatever shows up in our lives is our truth – even if we misunderstand the actions of others – even if we created the situation from our past actions – no matter what. What we feel is always appropriate. That is because it comes from somewhere. The current situation may have simply pushed us over the edge, but somewhere in the past is the source of it.

Saturn has nothing to say about how we feel. He has everything to say about what we do. The choices we make in light of our feelings are what he is here to teach us about. Feeling angry about a violation is one thing, violating another with that anger is another.

But Saturn is not telling you to grin and bear it. He is not telling you to turn the other cheek. He is telling you to choose what you do. That is the empowered action. When you recognize your choices and then choose, you empower yourself as a creator of your own reality. You cannot know what result your action will bring, but you can choose in every moment, to be the person you want to be.

In 2011, Saturn showed up in my chart. For much of the year, I was under the influence of Saturn (in the sky) directly opposite Saturn (in my chart). I learned through this experience that this can be an extremely challenging transit to live through. It didn’t just happen to me. Others that have this very aspect had challenges of their own, and some were huge.

In order to pass Saturn’s test, we have to get what he’s here to show us. A month or so ago, I researched, and soul searched. I looked at how Saturn taught me in the past, and I considered what was happening in the present. But I still didn’t get it. It took a month of intense emotion to finally get through to me.

Saturn in the sky is in the sign of Libra. Libra is cardinal-air and all about relationship. Saturn in Libra is here beseeching me (all of us really) to speak within our relationships. Actions are words, but words are words, and sometimes words must be spoken.

But Saturn wasn’t my only teacher in 2011.

If my life were to be compared to a bottle of champagne, then Saturn came along and shook it, over and over again. The pressure increased over the course of the year. In fact, it had been building for much of the last 7 years since my previous Saturn-Saturn transit. Saturn shook the bottle, but Pluto popped off the cap. And what spewed was emotion accumulated over my whole lifetime.

Mars is the ruler of war and action – Pluto the ruler of volcanoes and nuclear explosions. When one of these planets aspects the other in your chart, watch out! The insurgence of energy is awe-inspiring! The last time Mars transited my natal Pluto, I wrote A Sword is a Sword.  Yesterday, when I went back and reread that channeled message, it was the most appropriate wisdom I could have received.

Mar and Pluto activated my expression, pushing me over the edge, but Saturn continues to remind me about my choices. Yes, emotion is flying out of me unlike ever before perhaps, but I am still in control of my actions. I may not be able to keep my mouth shut, but I can still choose the words that I scream. (And scream I did!)

The entire year of 2011 was a 4. Four is stability, lacking in movement or change. If you’re in a good place, fours are great, if you’re in a bad place, fours are frustrating. 2011 was a 4, but was constructed from 2 and 11. 2 is direction, and 11 illumination. In order to see the most appropriate direction to take, we need light; we need to open our eyes. And when we open our eyes, we sometimes don’t like what we see.

2011 opened my eyes to a lot of things, most especially in December. December, 2011 is 12/2011 which adds up to 7. Seven takes us deep into our soul. Seven shows us everything inside of ourselves – not just the good stuff.

December of any year as a 12 is all about creation (3). Three always holds within it some form of movement. For me, the stale, stagnant 4 of 2011 gave way in December. Time was running out and I had yet to learn what was required.

And now it’s over. 2011 is no longer. Today is 1/1/2012. It is the first day of the new year, and the first day of the rest of our lives.

2012 is a 5. Five has movement, like 3. But unlike 3, the movement is often unexpected. 2012 is going to surprise us, over and over again. Surprise is not good or bad – it is merely unanticipated. Miracles are surprises. So are beautifully wrapped gifts. The 11 of 2011 turned on the light, and in 2012, it is time to look around. There is still more to see, more to explore, more to discover, more to create. We have a bit more information now. The path ahead should be a little clearer. And the wheels have been oiled. But unlike with The Chariot, we are still driving.

The Chariot does show up in life now and again, picking us up and driving us to some other place. But then it drops us off again and leaves us in control. The Chariot is card number VII in the Tarot. 1/1/2012 is also a seven. So today, we are free to let go of the steering wheel if we want. It is a Sunday, a holiday, a day of rest. We made it through 2011 and today is our break. When the Chariot drops us off at the end of the day, it’ll be the first Monday of 2012 and the first day to start deciding where to go next.

Interestingly, I have a decision to make by tomorrow that could, at least superficially, change my life experience for the foreseeable future.

Some of you might agree that 2011 was hell. It was a near death experience. If it didn’t kill us, then that means we have more to do, see, create, and experience. All of us reading this have made it to at least the first day of this infamous (or at least much anticipated) year.

Don’t just let it happen to you. Recognize your choices – you always have them. Seek what you desire. If you wish to have a life filled with integrity, then you must act with integrity.

I have learned that acting with integrity sometimes mean speaking my truth. Even if the other person is not open to hear my words, integrity still asks me to say them. Not for an outcome. Not to change the past. But because it is the right and just thing to do.

Speak your truth. Seek your dreams. Recognize your choices, and choose.

Happy New Year everyone!

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