Musing on a Sunday Morning

Early this morning, I woke from a dream.

I had a fight with my mother and am so mad,  I storm out of the house. I decide that I want to find a new place to live – a new city even. It raining, and I’m driving my truck through San Diego, but I don’t know where I am going. I’m lost…odd since I lived there for eight years. Oh, Cali, my cat, is still back in Texas. I need to go get her. Cali doesn’t like riding around in the truck.

I woke from the dream in a pitch-dark room – my lower back aching. I hear noise outside and can’t place it. It sounds like someone messing with my trashcans. It turns out to be thunder.

This morning, after a cup of coffee, I decide to go for a walk. After 108 degrees yesterday, 72 feels AMAZING! I cross South Congress Avenue against the light. In a rare moment, there are no cars driving all the way up or down.

And then I see it. The clouds in the sky form frozen waves, undulating but with no perceptible movement. I am so awed by the sight, I start walking directly toward downtown in the middle of the road. An approaching cop car startles me back to earth. I run to get out of the way.

Throughout my walk, I am dreamily looking at the sky. I am also revisiting the past. My iPod is shuffling through old songs and some go decades back.

One song has the following lyrics:

Yesterday, when I was mad
and quite prepared to give up everything
admitting I don’t believe
in anyone’s sincerity,
and that’s what’s really got to me

Suddenly, I understand my dream with perfect clarity.

In yesterday’s walk, I encountered an adult and a baby field mouse. They were chewing on blades of grass…adorably. Mouse, as a totem, is about the details. I heard it this way:

God’s work is in the details.

How fitting after a couple of intense weeks of editing: line-by-line.

Cancer rules the fourth house. Together, they are about nurturing, mother, home, family, safety, security, and support. Back pain is typically about feeling unsupported. The lower back is the foundation. Thus low back pain can be about feeling unsupported at home.

Mercury is retrograde in Cancer (in the fourth house of a normalized chart). It wants us to go back over the details.

“Is that what you really think?” Mercury asks. “Is that the truth or just what you believe? Is that the story you really want to tell everyone?”

Three of the giants are in water: Jupiter, Saturn, and Neptune. We have a lifejacket on and we’re floating in the river. It is easy to get lost in the gentle bobbing. If we do not pay attention, however, we’ll drift away in the current.

Throughout my walk, I was startled out of my daydreaming by runners, cars, and dogs – all coming directly at me. I just wanted to drift away in my musing, but reality kept slapping me back.

I suspect that most of you are preparing to celebrate this coming summer holiday with family and friends. If you feel safe and supported, you will easily have a grand time. If, however, you are feeling unsupported or insecure, just maybe you’ll relate to this morning’s muse. Information is pretty easy to come by right now. The universe is not hiding its guiding wisdom.

In another song that came on, I hear the following lyrics:

We’re lying in the gutter but we’re looking at the stars

The 4^th house can be the gutter. It is the lowest point in the chart. The stars loom overhead. Opposition allows us a good view. Is there any better way to look at the star than when lying on the ground? The sun in Cancer exactly opposes Pluto in Capricorn tomorrow.

There’s no good way to end this post. The musing goes on. Isn’t that what Sunday morning is all about?