[This post has links to a number of interesting sites. Be sure to check them out!]
As a Gemini, which is an air sign, I have often sought understanding as a means to feel better. When my emotions are down, I question why. I ask myself what is bothering me and why it bothers me.
This year, with added focus on, let’s say, the Abraham-Hicks approach, my questioning has changed slightly. Abraham says: when you experience negative emotion, your human mind is thinking something contrary to your Higher Self. Instead of asking why something bothers me, I try and discern the perspective of my Higher Self.
Paul & the Communion of Light, as channeled by Frank Butterfield, often say, “Follow the thought that feels better,” or, “Find a thought that feels better.” They also say, “Think a thought that feels better in the thinking…”
[By the way, Frank just published his first Mystery novel within a series. It is called The Unexpected Heiress, which I read and thoroughly enjoyed. It takes place in San Francisco in 1953 and is a fun ride!]
These approaches help. If you catch yourself ranting and raving about some subject or another, consciously move away from the rant and find something more appealing to think about. You can even find a more pleasant perspective on the same subject, which is optimally beneficial to you.
However, sometimes I feel negative emotion without a rant playing in my mind. In fact, when I search my thoughts, I don’t find anything concrete. Clearly, there is something going on, but it is a bit below my conscious perception. So now what?
Before I go on, I want to take a quick Astrology segue. Feel free to skip over it if you like.
I was born with Mercury in Gemini about 7 degrees ahead of my sun. In the days that followed my birth, Mercury reached further and farther ahead of the sun until it stationed retrograde at 2o Cancer. It then moved backward—into Gemini once more and to an earlier degree than I was born with. After three plus weeks of retrograde, it stationed direct and retraced its steps, crossing the degree when I was born a third time, and eventually into Cancer once again.
All of this is significant as it shows up in my Progressed chart. When I began studying Astrology more closely, my Progressed Mercury was nearing its return to the same degree as my Natal Mercury. It has since passed that point (in 2013) and only this year has ingressed Cancer.
When I noticed that the ingress was imminent, I questioned how it would affect me. I wondered what it would feel like. I am well aware of my Gemini Mercury. I think all the time….about all sorts of things. I am constantly looking to understand why things are the way the are and how to make them better. In my Natal chart, the cusp of my second house (my value system) is Virgo. I value Mercurial improvement—seeing the details and then improving them.
This week, I think I finally figured something out.
Two nights ago, I was sitting on the roof deck after sunset. The crescent moon hung conspicuously to the southwest. The afterglow of daylight cradled the horizon. Further up in the southern sky, Jupiter shined brightly, and toward the southeast was Mars—nearly as bright, but noticeably red. The city skyline became more beautiful as the city lights grew brighter against the darkening background. The temperature was ideal.
The scene, in my opinion, couldn’t have been better. In fact, I thought to myself, “There is no where on earth I would rather be.” I was as physically comfortable as I could be…and I couldn’t think of a scene that would be better. Furthermore, I was home—not on my own balcony, but within the building I reside.
Even with all of the above going on around me and within me, I felt anxious.
How, pray tell, can that occur? I was consciously appreciating the scene and thinking how there was nowhere I preferred to be, yet still I was tense—not fretting exact, but not fully relaxed.
As I sought a better feeling thought, I recalled my training as a Reconnective Healing practitioner. The Reconnective Healing frequencies are not something you conjure up via thought or invocation. You don’t ask them to come. You don’t visualize symbols. You don’t pray. You simply notice them.
When I describe this to others, I say it is like hearing a song in the distance, which is too faint to recognize. Imagine a friend saying to you, “I love this song,” which then causes you to focus. You listen more intently…and then catch it. Once you identify the song, you begin to hear it clearly. Your mind compensates and it is as if your hearing has improved one hundred fold.
Reconnective Healing works the same way. Your focus allows to you notice it clearly. When you stop focusing, it seemingly goes away.
To feel better, I decided to try focusing on the Reconnective Healing frequencies. I hadn’t done this in a while, so they didn’t show up as strongly as I’ve felt years past. But I did feel them. I then had an idea. I decided to take the same approach with emotion. I can feel the healing frequencies, but it is a sensation, not an emotion. Would the same technique work with an emotion?
I reached for ease…and found ease. Before I knew it, all of the anxiety was gone. I reached further, but then relented. Ease was all I needed, and so I stayed there. Ease allowed me to better enjoy the amazing scene before me.
The next morning, I spotted this posted on the Abraham-Hicks Facebook Page:
I now understand it better. I now understand what my Mercury progressing through Cancer is here to show me…to teach me…to entice my focus. I now want to learn to tune my emotions directly.
In my life, I have spent far too much energy seeking B to gain A. It is now time to go for A directly.
Right now, or when you have some time, try this exercise:
- Think about what you want. Find two or three examples that really stand out—where your desire is burning. Write them down.
- For one of the above (or all of them), then write down why you want it—in other words, what you hope to gain or experience as a result of the manifested desire.
- Iterate over #2 to see where it goes. Dive deeper. For each answer to why, ask why again.
- Eventually, you should reach a feeling word. If you don’t, see if you can find the feeling you are seeking from the desired object or experience.
The exercise above can help you figure out what you really want (A) and what experiences (B) you think will get you there.
For example, people often want money because they either a: want to feel more secure, or b: want to stop feeling something negative.
A person may think, “If I win the lottery, I can quit my job; I can buy a better house; I can drive a nicer car; I can hire people to do things for me that I don’t want to do.” However, at the core, this person might most want to feel free.
So money (B) is thus thought to be a means to gain freedom (A). Alternatively, money (B) might be a means to feel secure (A). One might believe having money will lead them to feelings of pride, confidence, power, self-love, self-esteem, worth, acceptance, belonging, autonomy, independence, etc.
In all of these cases, money is B…not A. It is not the core desire, feeling good or feeling better is.
So why is it good to understand the feelings sought? Well, because we can seek them directly. Yes, having a lump sum of money might help you feel secure and more regularly, but it won’t necessarily do that. Furthermore, it is easier to reach a feeling of security than it is to amass enough money to get there. Some very wealthy people still feel insecure, and thus keep seeking more money to fill that abyss.
It was years ago when Spirit first started guiding me to seek A to get A.
I think about this frequently now. When I find myself really wanting something, I ask myself why. As a result, I have stopped seeking B to get A. But what I hadn’t really started doing in earnest was seeking A…at least not directly. Instead of seeking the emotion, I sought thoughts to induce the emotion. When I achieved the emotion, I then sought thoughts to maintain the emotion. This didn’t work so well. The emotion was often difficult to achieve and too difficult to hold.
So now my work is cut out for me. Now I get to pursue emotions directly…not by thinking my way there, but by feeling my way there.
When I first studied Reconnective Healing, I was slow to feel it. Many people around me felt it immediately, but it took me some time. It took focus.
My Mercurial mind wants to fly all over the place. It wants to understand and then express what it has learned…even before it has put that knowledge into practice. This post is exactly that: I am sharing my ideas before I have put them into practice.
Ah, but hopefully, with my Mercury progressing through Cancer, I will gain some of what Cancer is proficient at: feeling.
Cancer is Cardinal Water, it excels at feelings and emotions (feeling and expressing feelings).
Capricorn, the polar opposite of Cancer, is Cardinal Earth. It is the builder because it is proficient at directing the movement of earth, the molding of material, which is an expressing of earth.
Cancer is a builder too. It builds with feelings. Instead of sandcastles, it builds watercastles. Cancers feel what they feel and you’re not going to easily talk them out of it.
I know how to build things (Capricorn). I know how to design things (Gemini). I value improvement (Virgo). I now need and want to learn how to guide, direct, and mold my emotions directly (Cancer).
In my progressed chart, my MC is in late Gemini, which means that most of my tenth house is Cancer, where Mercury, Mars, sun, and Venus reside. My ASC is Virgo and the cusp of my second house is now Scorpio. I’m understanding this a lot better now.
Gemini loves freedom. Cancer loves security. But let me ask you this:
Is there any greater freedom or any greater security than choosing how to feel without a cause?
If you can learn to be happy for no reason, then you will become unconditionally happy.
My dream castle is a fuzzy image, but boy does it feel good!